Episode 88: Only Little Murder

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 8, The Houses of Healing

Some people are healthy, and some are not. We will point out each one just in case you are confused.

We meet Tolkein’s self-insert, self-burn.

Also another woman! That we had forgotten about. Whoa.

Caitlin has her most egregious forgetting of a name to date.

And Hobbits, man. They rock.

 

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Episode 87: Ultimate Evil Trilo

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 7, The Pyre of Denethor.

Our favourite boy does just a *little* murder, and maybe a bit of treason.

Feanor, thousands of years later, still causing problems for everyone.

Murder-Suicide always seems like the best plan, right?

We still don’t understand how the afterlife works in MiddeEarth. Presumably, we never will.

 

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Episode 86: Weed Wizard

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields.

Dernhelm is a girl? What?

Who killed the Witchking? Why was there a prophesy about that?

And, most importantly, Gimli has his axe.

 

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Episode 85: Second Best Horse

This week we discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 5, the Ride of the Rohirrim.

A little less Ride and a little more Eavesdropping. Come and discuss with us as Merry is very observant, but misses some vital facts. Theoden gives some speeches and steals a horn. Eomer is racist, and Snowmane is the best horse ever.

Well, the best horse that wasn’t stolen by Gandalf.

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Episode 84: Bettamir

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 4, The Siege of Gondor!

Characters

  • Pippin – Guard of the Citadel, Faramir’s protector?
  • Gandalf – bearer of bad news, Denethor’s worst enemy apparently
  • Denethor – huge know-it-all, Steward of Gondor
  • Faramir – Captain of the White Tower, generally an island. Horse whisperer. Human whisperer?
  • Prince Imrahil – Faramir’s wing man and uncle
  • Beregond – a soldier of Gondor, helps Pippin find his clothes
  • Shadowfax – the best of horses
  • The Black Captain – The Witchking of Angmar
  • The Nazgul and their Fell Beasts – being that inspire terror

 

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Episode 83: Done-Here

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 3, The Muster of Rohan! Featuring a couple of folks who super don’t want to be left behind.

Characters

  • Merry – a lone Hobbit
  • Theoden – King of Rohan
  • Eomer – Theoden’s nephew
  • Eowyn – Theoden’s neice
  • Dúnhere – He’s so very done
  • Hirgon – A messenger from Rohan
  • Dernhelm – A totally, completely, brand new character. Never met them before. Not at all.

Also some Dunedain! One of them is named Halbarad

 

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Episode 82: Did You Just Say Nipples?

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends.

Characters

  • Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters again
  • Gimli – everyone’s favourite dwarf!
  • Legolas – everyone’s favourite elf!
  • Merry – Not everyone’s favourite hobbit (Frodo for life!)
  • Theoden – king of Rohan
  • Eomer – his nephew
  • Eowyn – his niece, most relatable
  • Elrohir – sons or Elrond, literally no one knows who is who
  • Elladan

Also some Dunedain! One of them is named Halbarad

 

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Episode 81: The Single Ladies of Minas Tirith

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 1, Minas Tirith! We meet back up with Gandalf and Pippin, and proceed into the Kingdom of Gondor, and learn just how little Pippin has been paying attention to…well…everything.

Characters

  • Gandalf – Wizard, herald of bad tidings
  • Pippin – A hobbit, all alone in the big city
  • Shadowfax – the best of horses

 

  • Denethor – The Steward of Gondor
  • Boromir & Faramir – His two sons, not actually appearing in this chapter

 

  • Ingold – a guardsman of Gondor, border control division
  • Beregond – guardsman of Minas Tirith, 3rd division, has all of Gandalf’s badass lines from the movie
  • Bergil – Beregond’s 10 year old son, a tour guide. 
  • Imrahil of Dol Amrath – Boromir and Faramir’s unlcle, on their mother’s side.

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Drunk Tolkien 4: Mathematics and Gollum

We finally found time to get drunk together! Please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we eat some brunch, drink some drinks, and listen to Gollum impressions, and answer twitter’s most ridiculous middle earth related questions, like “Why does Pippin always look up when he gets an apple?”

  • Math and alcohol and albatrosses. Obviously
  • Hobbit children are ent wives and we have the science to prove it.
  • Caitlin obviously meant Rangers of the SOUTH every single time she said Rangers of the NORTH
  • Richard Armitage should just play everyone, ever. Thank you.

A big thank you to the following folks for their Gollum impressions. We enjoyed each one immensely and laughed a lot.

Matthew from Eloquent Gushing

Alan from Hallowed Ground Media (He and Caitlin do a podcast together about the His Dark Materials series, you should check it out!)

Paul from Way Too Seriously and Clockworks Academy

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Movie Episode! The Two Towers

On this, our first episode of 2020, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the Two Towers movie directed by Peter Jackson.

  • Faramir is super different, how do we feel?
  • We want the version of this movie with Arwen at Helm’s Deep!
  • Hama for president 2020!
  • King Theoden, the best.
  • Also, we’ve accidentally been ignoring some emails. Sorry.

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