Episode 90: Acute Depression of the Arm

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 10, The Black Gate Opens

In this chapter the army spends a lot of time getting to a battle…and then not much time on the battle.

Merry is left behind!

We were wrong last week about miles. Which is just typical us.

As the army retraces Frodo and Sam’s steps, how much have we forgotten from The Two Towers?

And Hobbits, man. They rock.

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Episode 89: Does Gandalf Yolo?

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 9, The Last Debate

It’s a chapter of standing around a talking in two different parts!

The Fellowship is reunited!…mostly.

Caitlin still doesn’t understand miles?

How far is it from Minas Tirith to the Black Gate? I have a feeling Twitter will let us know.

And Hobbits, man. They rock.

 

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Episode 88: Only Little Murder

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 8, The Houses of Healing

Some people are healthy, and some are not. We will point out each one just in case you are confused.

We meet Tolkein’s self-insert, self-burn.

Also another woman! That we had forgotten about. Whoa.

Caitlin has her most egregious forgetting of a name to date.

And Hobbits, man. They rock.

 

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Episode 87: Ultimate Evil Trilo

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 7, The Pyre of Denethor.

Our favourite boy does just a *little* murder, and maybe a bit of treason.

Feanor, thousands of years later, still causing problems for everyone.

Murder-Suicide always seems like the best plan, right?

We still don’t understand how the afterlife works in MiddeEarth. Presumably, we never will.

 

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Episode 86: Weed Wizard

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields.

Dernhelm is a girl? What?

Who killed the Witchking? Why was there a prophesy about that?

And, most importantly, Gimli has his axe.

 

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Episode 85: Second Best Horse

This week we discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 5, the Ride of the Rohirrim.

A little less Ride and a little more Eavesdropping. Come and discuss with us as Merry is very observant, but misses some vital facts. Theoden gives some speeches and steals a horn. Eomer is racist, and Snowmane is the best horse ever.

Well, the best horse that wasn’t stolen by Gandalf.

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Episode 84: Bettamir

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 4, The Siege of Gondor!

Characters

  • Pippin – Guard of the Citadel, Faramir’s protector?
  • Gandalf – bearer of bad news, Denethor’s worst enemy apparently
  • Denethor – huge know-it-all, Steward of Gondor
  • Faramir – Captain of the White Tower, generally an island. Horse whisperer. Human whisperer?
  • Prince Imrahil – Faramir’s wing man and uncle
  • Beregond – a soldier of Gondor, helps Pippin find his clothes
  • Shadowfax – the best of horses
  • The Black Captain – The Witchking of Angmar
  • The Nazgul and their Fell Beasts – being that inspire terror

 

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Episode 83: Done-Here

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 3, The Muster of Rohan! Featuring a couple of folks who super don’t want to be left behind.

Characters

  • Merry – a lone Hobbit
  • Theoden – King of Rohan
  • Eomer – Theoden’s nephew
  • Eowyn – Theoden’s neice
  • Dúnhere – He’s so very done
  • Hirgon – A messenger from Rohan
  • Dernhelm – A totally, completely, brand new character. Never met them before. Not at all.

Also some Dunedain! One of them is named Halbarad

 

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Episode 82: Did You Just Say Nipples?

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends.

Characters

  • Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters again
  • Gimli – everyone’s favourite dwarf!
  • Legolas – everyone’s favourite elf!
  • Merry – Not everyone’s favourite hobbit (Frodo for life!)
  • Theoden – king of Rohan
  • Eomer – his nephew
  • Eowyn – his niece, most relatable
  • Elrohir – sons or Elrond, literally no one knows who is who
  • Elladan

Also some Dunedain! One of them is named Halbarad

 

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Episode 81: The Single Ladies of Minas Tirith

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 1, Minas Tirith! We meet back up with Gandalf and Pippin, and proceed into the Kingdom of Gondor, and learn just how little Pippin has been paying attention to…well…everything.

Characters

  • Gandalf – Wizard, herald of bad tidings
  • Pippin – A hobbit, all alone in the big city
  • Shadowfax – the best of horses

 

  • Denethor – The Steward of Gondor
  • Boromir & Faramir – His two sons, not actually appearing in this chapter

 

  • Ingold – a guardsman of Gondor, border control division
  • Beregond – guardsman of Minas Tirith, 3rd division, has all of Gandalf’s badass lines from the movie
  • Bergil – Beregond’s 10 year old son, a tour guide. 
  • Imrahil of Dol Amrath – Boromir and Faramir’s unlcle, on their mother’s side.

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