Episode 82: Did You Just Say Nipples?

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends.

Characters

  • Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters again
  • Gimli – everyone’s favourite dwarf!
  • Legolas – everyone’s favourite elf!
  • Merry – Not everyone’s favourite hobbit (Frodo for life!)
  • Theoden – king of Rohan
  • Eomer – his nephew
  • Eowyn – his niece, most relatable
  • Elrohir – sons or Elrond, literally no one knows who is who
  • Elladan

Also some Dunedain! One of them is named Halbarad

 

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Episode 81: The Single Ladies of Minas Tirith

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 1, Minas Tirith! We meet back up with Gandalf and Pippin, and proceed into the Kingdom of Gondor, and learn just how little Pippin has been paying attention to…well…everything.

Characters

  • Gandalf – Wizard, herald of bad tidings
  • Pippin – A hobbit, all alone in the big city
  • Shadowfax – the best of horses

 

  • Denethor – The Steward of Gondor
  • Boromir & Faramir – His two sons, not actually appearing in this chapter

 

  • Ingold – a guardsman of Gondor, border control division
  • Beregond – guardsman of Minas Tirith, 3rd division, has all of Gandalf’s badass lines from the movie
  • Bergil – Beregond’s 10 year old son, a tour guide. 
  • Imrahil of Dol Amrath – Boromir and Faramir’s unlcle, on their mother’s side.

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Drunk Tolkien 4: Mathematics and Gollum

We finally found time to get drunk together! Please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we eat some brunch, drink some drinks, and listen to Gollum impressions, and answer twitter’s most ridiculous middle earth related questions, like “Why does Pippin always look up when he gets an apple?”

  • Math and alcohol and albatrosses. Obviously
  • Hobbit children are ent wives and we have the science to prove it.
  • Caitlin obviously meant Rangers of the SOUTH every single time she said Rangers of the NORTH
  • Richard Armitage should just play everyone, ever. Thank you.

A big thank you to the following folks for their Gollum impressions. We enjoyed each one immensely and laughed a lot.

Matthew from Eloquent Gushing

Alan from Hallowed Ground Media (He and Caitlin do a podcast together about the His Dark Materials series, you should check it out!)

Paul from Way Too Seriously and Clockworks Academy

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Movie Episode! The Two Towers

On this, our first episode of 2020, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the Two Towers movie directed by Peter Jackson.

  • Faramir is super different, how do we feel?
  • We want the version of this movie with Arwen at Helm’s Deep!
  • Hama for president 2020!
  • King Theoden, the best.
  • Also, we’ve accidentally been ignoring some emails. Sorry.

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Episode 80: Can’t Go Wrong With Tentacles

On this, our last episode of 2019, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the 1978 animated movie, The Lord of the Rings.

In which we ask the following very important questions:

  • Why doesn’t Aragorn wear pants?
  • Why does everyone want to punch Bilbo?
  • Who is Aruman?
  • Why is everyone the same height?

If you drink alcohol, we recommend it for the viewing of this movie. If you do not…godspeed.

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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Episode 79: Sam is Real Good

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Nine, The Choices of Master Samwise

Characters:

  • Sam – an extremely fearsome enemy (probably a large elf)
  • Frodo – he dead
  • Shelob – still nightmare fuel
  • Shagrat – orc middle management from the Tower of Cirith Ungol
  • Gorbag – orc middle management from Minas Morgul

 

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

Episode 78: When You Wish Upon Your Daddy

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Eight, Shelob’s Lair

Characters:

  • Frodo and Sam – Spelunkers
  • Gollum – it’s allllla Gollum now
  • Shelob – pure and utter nightmare fuel

Characters from legend:

  • Earendil – has the silmaril now…and is a star, also the aforementioned Daddy
  • Melkor – original evil.
  • Ungoliant – original nightmare fuel spider.

 

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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Episode 77: Tourist Observation Deck

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Seven, The Stairs of Cirith Ungol

Characters:

  • Frodo – Our hero
  • Sam – Our hero wouldn’t have got far without him

Smeagollum – the hero of his own story

The Witch-King of Angmar, the Lord of the Nazgul, the Black Captain – stabbed Frodo once

Mentions:

  • Galadriel – gave Frodo a very important gift
  • Faramir – gave Frodo a less important gift 

Characters from legend:

  • Beren – Had a silmaril one time
  • Earendil – has the silmaril now…and is a star

 

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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Episode 76: Make a U Turn, Precious

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Six, Journey to the Crossroads

Characters:

  • Faramir – gone from our pages, but not from our hearts.
  • Frodo and Sam and Gollum – Our walking party. 

 

Following the map of their journey, they walk down from Henneth Annun and end at was it labeled M10, the Crossroads.

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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Episode 75: The Fish Tolkien Podcast

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Five, The Window on the West.

Characters:

  • Frodo – a tricksy hobbit
  • Faramir – a tricksy human
  • Smeagollum – a tricksy guide
  • Sam – a hobbit who just wants to do a murder, but isn’t tricksy enough
  • Anborn – probably dies after this chapter

 

In the same map as the last couple weeks we are at Henneth Annûn, this week! (Yes, I just copy and pasted this from last week because the group hasn’t moved)

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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