Drunk Tolkien 4: Mathematics and Gollum

We finally found time to get drunk together! Please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we eat some brunch, drink some drinks, and listen to Gollum impressions, and answer twitter’s most ridiculous middle earth related questions, like “Why does Pippin always look up when he gets an apple?”

  • Math and alcohol and albatrosses. Obviously
  • Hobbit children are ent wives and we have the science to prove it.
  • Caitlin obviously meant Rangers of the SOUTH every single time she said Rangers of the NORTH
  • Richard Armitage should just play everyone, ever. Thank you.

A big thank you to the following folks for their Gollum impressions. We enjoyed each one immensely and laughed a lot.

Matthew from Eloquent Gushing

Alan from Hallowed Ground Media (He and Caitlin do a podcast together about the His Dark Materials series, you should check it out!)

Paul from Way Too Seriously and Clockworks Academy

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Episode 80: Can’t Go Wrong With Tentacles

On this, our last episode of 2019, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the 1978 animated movie, The Lord of the Rings.

In which we ask the following very important questions:

  • Why doesn’t Aragorn wear pants?
  • Why does everyone want to punch Bilbo?
  • Who is Aruman?
  • Why is everyone the same height?

If you drink alcohol, we recommend it for the viewing of this movie. If you do not…godspeed.

We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions! Please email them to us and have the opportunity to choose an episode topic for us!

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Bonus Episode: Down to Two

Emmy is on vacation, so Caitlin and Rachel have a short discussion without her!

  • How did we all meet? It’s a mystery.
  • We like other books!
  • What makes a fantasy movie?

The Very Secret Diaries

The Very Wrong Fanvid

Also we now have a Patreon Page! Please check it out!


Find us on Twitter!

Check out our Patreon!

Episode 58: Struck a Silmaril

This week we combined our movie discussion with out drunk episode. So, it’s a drunk movie discussion!

We discuss our favourite scenes and lines and performances and adaptations.

But, more importantly, we discuss the following completely unrelated pop-culture mediums:

  • X-Men
  • John Wick
  • Detective Pikachu
  • Veggie Tales
  • Spy Kids


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Episode 57: I2I

We have reached the final chapter of the Fellowship of the Ring!


  • Frodo
  • Sam
  • Merry
  • Pippin
  • Aragorn
  • Legolas
  • Gimli
  • Boromir


Due to the chapters long indecision, the Fellowship is still in the same place it was last chapter, which can be seen here.


It’s the end of the book, let us know what you thought!



Intro/outro music: The Forest and the Trees Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License